Keeping My Crazy To Myself….

12 Oct

Last week I spent 2 full school days at a middle school in Tempe, Arizona. 1000 students attend this school. ONE THOUSAND! Did you get that? One thousand 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students together on one campus. Can you imagine?!

I was there to help collect data for a research project, but basically, I was pretty non-essential. This meant I was free to exercise one of my great talents – fixating on something and obsessing! I locked into reflecting on this particular age and how fragile self-esteem can be at this stage of development. I spent hours consumed by thoughts of what it’s like to be a middle school student and what it will be like to be a parent to one! I longed to ask those kids all the questions running through my mind. Fortunately, I had the good sense to keep my crazy to myself. The following is a small excerpt from my incessant internal interrogation:

• Oh my g-d, you’re so old!
• Oh my g-d, you’re so young!
• Are kids being nice to you?
• Do you feel lonely?
• Do you feel good about yourself?
• Are you comfortable in your own skin?
• I hope you feel good about yourself.
• You’re so sweet. That’s so weird…I don’t know you at all. I just hope you’re sweet.
• Are you happy?
• Do you feel important?
• Do you have someone you can count on?
• Have you been able to make friends? Nice friends?
• Are you being bullied?
• What inspired you to grow a foot-long Mohawk, spike it and die the tips blond? I’m not judging, I’m just curious….I’m  actually kinda proud of you.
• I can’t believe one day my babies are going to be in middle school.
• Are your parents saying, “I can’t believe my baby is in middle school?”
• Did it go too fast for your mom and dad?
• Are you nice to your mom and dad?
• Please be nice to your mom and dad.
• I really, really hope you have a mom or dad or someone at home loving you and looking out for you.
• I know the days of waking your parents up at 6:00am and wanting to crawl in their bed are long over, but I just  want to know how much cuddle time I have left with my kiddos…. 
• Do you still hug your parents or is that totally embarrassing?
• Oh, come on…give your parents a hug!
• I hope your parents are proud of you, and I hope you know it.
• I hope you’re acting in ways that make you feel proud of you.
• I really, really hope you like yourself. 

Needless to say, I was pretty worn out by the end of day two.
So, is this worth my obsessing? Is there anything I can possibly do now to ensure my kids’ safe travels through middle school?


2 Responses to “Keeping My Crazy To Myself….”

  1. bronxboy55 October 13, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    I have trouble imagining a thousand of anything, never mind middle school students. Those are some great questions and thoughts you had. I’m guessing you’re a great mom.

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